A big bitch in a small world

howdoiputthisgently:

1. Absolutely no fried foods

2. Less processed foods- avoid things that come in a box

3. After a workout I need to stop rewarding myself—I’m not a dog

4. I need a good workout  playlist

5. Less sodium and paying more attention to other things on nutrition facts than just the calories

6. Stop thinking of the weekends as my diet vacation

7. Create a motivation picture board to hang

8. Buy a scale and tape measure so I can see my results

9. Keep a visual of lbs. lost

10. Don’t whine- just do it.

I have this problem.  Every time I think I look pretty, or look in the mirror before going out and think “Ok, I actually look good” I then look at pictures from said event and I think I look gross.  That is my motivation.  I was talking to my ex-boyfriend today (never a good idea) and I asked him his honest opinion (he is the most honest person I know) if I would be prettier if I lost weight.  I felt like he gave me this round about answer.  He said “you would be pretty no matter what.”  In my mind that is a yes, yes I would be.  

Hear that? It’s my self-confidence being shot. 

I should know better.

I need to add more protein to my diet.  I went to work out today and man, it was hard.  I did not eat enough before my work out to burn during.  I barely made it 10 minutes on the elliptical before having to stop.  I ended up riding the bike for about 7 miles (about 20 minutes).  I am really disappointed in myself.  I ate a big dinner knowing that I needed to get something in me.  I stayed pretty healthy.  I could have not ate the rice- I shouldn’t have eaten the rice.  Whatever, more motivation to work harder tomorrow.  My Fitness Pal told me that if I continue eating like I do I will lose 16 lbs in 5 weeks.  Not terrible.  That’s the beginning of July.  Maybe I can drop 30 by RA training.

I just need more motivation. 

Alright y’all, I need to do this.  I want to become a single digit dress size.  There is no lying- I am a big girl, and I am sick of it.  People say I am pretty, but I never believe it.  Even if I feel pretty and leave the house and then see a picture on facebook of myself after, I think I look disgusting.  I don’t want to feel like that anymore.  So here is my challenge- I want to lose enough lbs. to be a single digit dress size.  I don’t want to be a “big” bitch in a small world, I want to be a “tiny” bitch in a small world.  However cheesy it may sound I need to do this for me.  So if one when I get married my dress won’t be wearing me- I will be wearing it.  So I can look back at those pictures and feel good about them.  So when my children see me they think their mom was (and hopefully at that point is) hot.  

Here is what I am going to use:

My Fitness Pal- here I can track my calories and include my daily exercise and water intake.  Currently it says if I eat 1600 some calories I will lose 10 lbs. by July.  Challenge accepted.  I want to lose more than that.  Yeah, yeah.  That’s ridiculous, but it’s a good way to push myself.  

I plan to work our at least 5 days a week.  I would Monday-Thursday and plan to go to the rec after everyday, along with walking/riding my bike (when it gets fixed) to work.  If I have time I would like to work out on the weekends, but let’s be honest- with the boyfriend in town I will be working and stretch muscles I can’t during the week (mmmm yes, dirty)

Now, this is what I ask you- help me.  Ask me how it’s coming.  Motivation is what I need.  I love foor, and I love eating it.  I know I eat more than I should portion wise so that is where is starts.  Portion control.  Also, no more pops to save my life.  That brings me to my next point:

Alcohol- if I drink it will be in moderation/calorie careful.  The only acception is my 21st birthday.  I mean, come on. I only have one 21st.

So, wish me luck. Hopefully in a year I will be within reach of my goal.

xoxo y’all